I’m in the business of silver linings. Accentuating the positive. Looking at the bright side. Things are never as bad as they seem. Lemonade out of Lemons. The glass is half full and we’ll all be OK.

Despite 2020, I still believe these things, but it hasn’t been easy. If this year hasn’t tested you, stretched you, changed the way you think, or challenged your sense of self, I want to be on what you’ve been on for the last 6 months.

This was going to be our year. Our home renovations were finally done, and I was ready to throw open the doors to friends and family with a new spirit of intention and connection. We were finally going to have all my husband’s coworkers over. I was going to host my family for Easter. I was planning an elaborate brunch for a group of women I was wanting to get to know better. We would host a dear friend for his 40th birthday. We had plans.

The adage by Michael Chabon, “Man makes plans…. God laughs,” has never felt more apt than this year. So many things have gone sideways that they’re not even worth recounting.

It’s happened to all of us. Nothing about this year is what we could have expected or even begun to anticipate. So many celebrations, special times, and meaningful moments have been cancelled by COVID-19; and this was your fate if you were one of the lucky ones.

Considering the loss of life, missing out on these things is not even a comparison to how bad things could be. Not to mention the loss of jobs, racial injustice and inequality, or the miserable Presidential election to come. It’s been a shit year.

It’s not over and we’re down, but we’re not out just yet. Take this as my personal attempt at embracing the spirit of silver linings in a time that doesn’t feel like it deserves the effort.

As I mentioned, all my big plans for the year have been cancelled. For the first time in my adult life, I’ve spent six months without going anywhere. No weekend getaways, no trips to Costa Rica, no visits to family around the country. Just time at home. As an incessant planner and anxious supervisor of all the details regarding our time away, it has been a sweet relief to just be still and have no plans to preoccupy me.

To know that you have nothing extenuating to occupy your mind is a freedom I haven’t experienced since I was a kid, and I’m grateful for it.

With no plans in place and social distancing in effect, my intentions to open our home to anyone and everyone have gone by the wayside. In its stead, something different, but equally magical, has occurred in its place.

You know the friend you’d really like to get know better and spend more time with but is always super busy? The one who lives inconveniently 30 minutes away? The one you always enjoy seeing, but life holds you to a dinner or two a month at best and maybe a few months apart at worst?

We all have these friends.

In my case, this friend’s schedule is now wide open, and it turns out she doesn’t even mind driving the 30 minutes to my house. Granted, she doesn’t really want to come in, but we’re happy to sit on my front porch a few hours every weekend just to chat.

There’s no formality or pretense. No trying to figure out where to meet or go to eat. No getting dressed up to go out. No interruptions or distractions. Just the simple pleasure of spending quality time together.

These visits have been a lifesaver. It can’t be overstated how much having this friend visit has meant to me over these last few months. It’s been the thing I’ve looked forward to and the sense of normality I’ve craved since this whole thing started. Getting to know my friend through this weekend routine has been a gift.

So, hospitality doesn’t look like what I had planned for this year. God laughed and gave me what I didn’t know I needed: time and a friend. How’s that for a silver lining?